


Arachnophobia

by FiveEyes



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Arachnophobia, But Mostly Humor, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Spiders, based on a prompt I saw on Tumblr, but it's all sfw, illustrated by taylachan, now illustrated, some slightly saucy stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-04 14:28:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12170715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveEyes/pseuds/FiveEyes
Summary: „What the hell? You know it’s like, five o’clock in the morning, right?“If Peridot wasn’t so busy trying to suppress the urge to gag at the thought of the spider and its many legs trying desperately to escape the bathtub, twitching as it fell down again and again, she would have felt bad for waking her up.„Sorry“, she breathed, „sorry…need your help…spider…“„What?“„A spider. In my bathtub. I hate spiders. You need to kill it, please, I can’t live with this thing in my apartment!“In which Lapis adopts a spider and Peridot might just find a way to overcome her crippling arachnophobia for her ridiculously cute neighbor.





	1. Chapter 1

 

Peridot was not a morning person. Her brain just did not agree with her biorhythm and needed at least a few more hours and two times as many cups of coffee to process anything it was witnessing, which was why it took her a few minutes to notice the gigantic spider, roughly the size of her palm, in her bathtub. Well, truth be told, she noticed it the moment she entered the bathroom, as a large brown stain on the porcelain, but the information didn’t seem to register straight away.

Instead, she yawned. Stretched. Adjusted her glasses and made sure the dark stain wasn’t just a smudge on the lense. She came a few steps closer. Squinted. Oh, a spider, she thought. That makes sense. Reached for her toothbrush. The information crawled its way through her synapses at a snail’s pace.

Spider.

Spider.

SPIDER!

She made a sound akin to a cat that just got its tail stepped on, and the next thing she knew, she was standing in the hallway in front of her neighbor’s apartment, knocking her knuckles sore. She didn’t exactly know her next door neighbor aside from the fact that she had dyed her hair blue. It wasn’t the bright, slightly turquoise blue that Peridot occasionally saw on the street from time to time, but a much darker shade, a bit like the deep sea. Peridot had heard that she studied art and apparently was quite a loner. She never seemed o have any guests over, at least not particularly loud ones. They never interacted much, aside from a few annoyed bumps against the wall with a broomstick if Peridot forgot to plug in her headphones before playing Overwatch at full volume, but when Peridot saw her disheveled, confused face appear in the doorframe, she might just have kissed her.

„What the hell? You know it’s like, five o’clock in the morning, right?“

If Peridot wasn’t so busy trying to suppress the urge to gag at the thought of the spider and its many legs trying desperately to escape the bathtub, twitching as it fell down again and again, she would have felt bad for waking her up.

Her hair was a mess, she had evidently forgotten to remove her make-up before she went to sleep, leaving her with dark smudges around her eyes and on her cheekbones, and she still wore her pajamas, washed out and worn. There was a picture of a very grumpy looking hammerhead shark on the top, adorned with the words ‚getting up is the first mistake of the day.‘ Peridot could relate.

„Sorry“, she breathed, „sorry…need your help…spider…“

„What?“

„A spider. In my bathtub. I hate spiders. You need to kill it, please, I can’t live with this thing in my apartment!“

„That’s it? A spider? You woke me up for a spider? You had me thinking somebody broke into your house!“

Peridot’s neighbor tried to to close the door, but Peridot was quicker, moving her foot in the way and winced as it got squished between door and doorframe.

„No, please! I’ll pay you! I just can’t stand to look at it, or I’ll puke, I swear!“

The girl closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. She seemed to fight a battle with herself, and it seemed like she was losing. Finally, she opened her eyes again, and with a sigh, she asked: „That bad, huh?“

„Yeah, my arachnophobia is very severe, but also understandable from an evolutionary perspective, given that spiders can be poisonous and aggressive, and look so alien compared to our human physique it provokes an instinctual fear of everything that is clearly different-“

Her neighbor had already squeezed herself past Peridot and into her apartment, since she had left the door wide open in her frenzy. Peridot grumbled something about rudeness under her breath and quickly followed her neighbor inside.

Once there, she saw her standing in the middle of her kitchen, slowly looking around at the chaos that surrounded her. Peridot blushed up to the roots of her hair and cursed herself for procrastinating and perfecting the art of stacking dirty dishes in the sink. Then she saw her medium sized pyramid built out of empty mountain dew cans and she was sure she would just die on the spot out of embarrassment. But that was nothing against the feeling that overcame her when she saw that the other girl had locked her gaze on her limited edition signed Camp Pining Hearts team green poster. The girl turned around, grinning, and Peridot contemplated the idea of spontaneously moving to another state.

„Didn’t take you for the soap opera type“, she said.

„That’s the kitchen! You won’t find my bathtub in the kitchen!“, Peridot squawked and ushered the laughing girl out of the room. She had a cute laugh, she suddenly realized, one of those adorable snort-laughs. She didn’t seem embarrassed about it.

„So where is this spider demon of yours? Let’s get this over with, I still have a few hours until I need to make my way to uni, and every minute I spend awake is a wasted minute.“

Peridot led her to the bathroom, her eyes closed tightly.

„It’s in there“ she said, in the exact same tone a terrified witness would show the deceased victim of a serial killer to a police officer.

She heard the neighbor moving next to her, and she still didn’t dare to open her eyes.

„Huh, look at that“, the girl said casually, „It’s gone“.

„What?!“, Peridot squeaked, her eyes shooting open, but she was greeted by the sight of her neighbor trying and failing to stifle a giggle behind her hand. 

„I’m just pulling your leg“, she admitted, „it’s right there“.

Peridot made the mistake of double checking, and lo and behold, there it sat, in the same spot as before. Peridot quickly pressed her fingers over her eyes.

„So…“, the other girl started. „Can you get me a glass and a sheet of paper or something?“

It took Peridot another few seconds to figure out what on earth she needed these items for, but when she finally figured it out, she was more than happy to have an excuse to leave the bathroom. She had assumed her neighbor would just kill the thing then and there, but she guessed that she should be grateful that the girl decided to relocate the spider first. She could really do without dead spider bits smeared over her bathtub.

She quickly gathered up the requested items and handed them to the girl, a sheet of paper she had used for bored doodles during an especially boring lecture and a cereal bowl - her favorite, as she realized as it was to late. She pointedly looked the other way as her neighbor slowly, ever so slowly approached the beast, she heard the rustling of the paper, the distinctive clunk of porcelain and porcelain impacting, and a triumphant „gotcha!“. She dared to open her eyes, and indeed, there the girl stood, the upturned bowl safely sealed with the paper.

„You’re a life saver!“, Peridot said, a bit louder than she needed to, because she could have sworn she heard the spider scuttle around in its prison.

„Thank you so much…“

„Lapis“, the girl supplied. „Lapis Lazuli.“ 

„Peridot“, Peridot said and extended her hand towards Lapis, who just made an awkward gesture with her filled hands. „Sorry, my hands are a little occupied keeping the little guy where he is, but in all honesty, I probably wouldn’t have shaken you hand even if I physically could, it’s weird.“

Peridot huffed, her pride deeply wounded.

„Just…throw it out of the window or something. I don’t want that bowl back anyway, at least not now that a spider touched it.“

„What? Nah, I don’t want to kill the little guy, I wan’t to keep him.“

„But that’s the only reason I called you here in the first place!“

„I know!“

„Why would you want to keep this disgusting thing?“

„I think he’s cute.“

„Cute? Do you know what that word means? Fluffy bunnies and fuzzy kittens are cute!“

„The little guy is fuzzy, too. His legs are all hairy, wanna see?“

With another undignified noise, Peridot covered her eyes again, just in case.

„Just…just get it out of here.“, Peridot said weakly.

„Sure thing“, Lapis answered, and squeezed her way past Peridot. „And thanks for introducing me to your fuzzy friend!“ Another cute snort-laugh, and she was gone.

Peridot sat down on the edge of the bathtub, still trying to wrap her head around what had happened. Her brain took it’s sweet time. It was still morning, after all. She needed some caffeine, and she needed it yesterday.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brought to you by the giant house spider living behind my bookshelf. I hate spiders, but I don't want to kill a harmless creature (and I'm a giant wuss human), so we've come to the agreement that she can live there and I'll just never ever ever pick up a book again.

Peridot couldn’t sleep. This wasn’t exactly an uncommon occurrence, as she often lay awake for hours with a bad case of the caffeine jitters. And every time her nerves practically vibrated on the mattress and her eyes hurt from focusing on her bright computer screen for too long, she swore to herself to never, ever touch energy drinks again after 8pm. Naturally, this promise didn’t last.

Tonight was a little different.

She had every light in her bedroom on, even that useless desk lamp, and it was impossible to even catch a glimpse of sleep with all this flare. The alternative, however, was much, much worse, as far as Peridot was concerned. She couldn’t just lie in the darkness, where a spider could just make its decent from the ceiling unnoticed and land on her face, crawl into her mouth or burrow in her ears. Did spiders do that? It was better not to take any risks. After all, who said that the spider Lapis had adopted didn’t have friends? Family? Oh stars, what if there was an entire nest in her drain? A spider colony in Peridot’s bathroom, with a brood mother the size of a small dog? There was no way Peridot could sleep tonight, and even though the rational part of her brain admonished her for being childish, she couldn’t help it.

She just was going to have to stay awake. Maybe she could sleep on the commute to uni, if she was able to secure herself a seat in the subway during rush hours. At this rate, she would probably even manage to fall asleep standing up. Or she would just do a little power nap during software design 1102. Just a tiny one, she wouldn’t miss anything important. 

Yes, sleep was optional, she had pulled all-nighters before. 

Her eyes felt dry and itchy. Her eyelids seemed to flutter shut of their own accord, of course only for a prolonged blink, not because her body was finally giving into its need for rest. She would just rest her for a bit, a few seconds maybe, where was the harm in that? 

She awoke to the sound of the quick, angry steps of the brood mother crossing her bedroom on legs too thin to carry its fat body. 

She helplessly flailed as she struggled with her covers, frantically searching for a way to escape…then her brain kicked into gear and she realized that the sound she was hearing was a persistent knocking on her door. She looked out of her bedroom window. It was still dark outside. A glance at her alarm clock told her that it was 3:00am. The only people knocking on doors this late into the night were drug dealers or victims of a knife fight, or…she had a sneaking suspicion. She shivered as her naked feet touched the cold floor, and she sneaked through her apartment to her front door. She opened it just a few inches wide, and there she was - Lapis Lazuli, grinning widely, clad in a blue summer dress. In the middle of the night. In front of her doorstep. Peridot squinted at her through near sighted eyes, as if she was a hallucination that would vanish if she just concentrated hard enough. 

“Lazuli“, she groaned through the crack. She thought that using the girl’s last name would help in conveying her annoyance, but she had the feeling her intimidation skills were a bit sabotaged by the gigantic yawn that followed her words.

“Is there a particular reason you’re standing on my doorstep in the middle of the night, wearing a sundress and makeup?“ Peridot didn’t know why she singled out the makeup, it had just suddenly occurred to her that in contrast to yesterday, her makeup wasn’t smeared all over her face, but instead applied with care and precision. Her black eyeliner really helped to bring out those grey eyes. ’Like stormclouds‘ Peridot thought.

“Payback, mostly“, Lapis shrugged. “If you won’t let me sleep, why should you be allowed to?“

Peridot opened her mouth to prostest, but Lapis was faster.

“Also I wanted to show you something. So, can I come in or do you want to stand around for a bit?“

Peridot blinked, absolutely dumbfounded. She found herself opening the door all the way and stepping aside to let Lapis in, without actually recalling having made the decision.

Lapis looked her up and down, her eyebrows raised so high they seemed to disappear into her hairline. “Is that a new trend I’m not aware of?“ Lapis asked, gesturing towards the smaller girl. 

Peridot yelped, suddenly remembering she was wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt that hung loosely around her frame and her boy shorts. Her old t-shirt that probably smelled of overnight sweat and the most embarrassing boy shorts she owned, the one with the alien face pattern. 

“I’ll…I’ll just go change!“, she stuttered, making her retreat into her bedroom.

She closed the door behind her and leaned against it, letting out a long sigh. Why did she have to be such a mess? If this was payback, it was clearly a disproportionate retribution. Why couldn’t she be more like Lapis, who had been able to just roll with it after having been caught in her pajamas by Peridot. And yet here the smaller girl was, almost hyperventilating, seriously considering the thought of never ever leaving her room again. 

“Peridot? Are you okay in there?“ came Lapis’ muffled voice from the other room. 

“Fine!“, she yelped, forcing herself out of her self pity and scanning the room for clothes. There was a pair of jeans lying on the floor, and with a sudden pang of shame she realized that she’d been wearing them for over a week now. Well, if they held out that long, they’d do for another night, especially after a generous spray of febreeze. She blindly reached into her wardrobe and pulled out a random shirt, throwing it over and making a half-baked attempt of taming her hair with her fingers before stumbling out the door. 

“Aw, I thought the shorts were cute“, Lapis grinned, and Peridot sputtered.

“E-excuse me?“, she said, indignantly. Was this a genuine compliment or was Lapis just making fun of her again? It had to be the latter, Peridot had been called numerous things in her life, obnoxious being one of the most popular terms, but cute? No, it had to be sarcastic. Peridot frowned at the thought. 

“So, what in the world was so important you had to throw me out of bed at 3am?“, Peridot asked.

“I found out what species Pierre - that’s what I called the little guy - belongs to.“

“You called him Pierre?!“

“Yeah, like in Camp Pining Hearts. I thought a nerd like you would appreciate the reference.“, Lapis said, not bothered in the slightest by Peridot’s outburst.

“I do certainly not appreciate my second favorite character being compared to the vilest, most disgusting creature on the planet, hell, in the entire universe!“

“But they have so much in common“, Lapis grinned, clearly amused by Peridot’s antics. “They’re both big but agile, are misunderstood and have very, very hairy legs.“

“What is there to misunderstand about a spider, they’re carnivores, they will not hesitate to cannibalize each other, and how come you know so much about CPH anyways?“

“I watch it ironically…well I started watching it ironically, I don’t know how I got so invested. The show just started taking hold on my life“ Lapis admitted.

“I know how that is“, Peridot said, for the first time feeling as if she was on equal footing with the taller girl. This, she could relate to, this was basically her world. “You just tell yourself to watch one more episode and before you know it five hours have passed.“

Lapis smiled, and Peridot was surprised to find herself relax instead of frantically trying to interpret the gesture. With a huff, Lapis hoisted herself up on the kitchen table.

“I have chairs right there“, Peridot pointed out, but Lapis just shook her head. “I like to have the high ground.“

“Suit yourself“, Peridot said, and slumped down on the chair facing her. She felt even smaller now, with Lapis all but towering over her.

“So, I looked up Pierre on the Internet…“ It took Peridot a while to realize her neighbor wasn’t talking about the Camp Pining Hearts Longjump Record Breaker, but her new pet. “And did you know there is a spider called the Hobo Spider?“

“I can’t even stand to look at a spider from a distance of ten yards, so no, I did not take the time and learn the names by heart.“

“C’mon, admit it, the name’s funny.“ 

Peridot didn’t answer, but let out another drawn out yawn, perhaps a bit more theatrical than the last, praying that Lapis would take the hint that she really didn’t want to discuss the subject of her crippling phobia.

“Anyway, Hobo Spiders are a bit smaller than our friend Pierre, but do you want to guess what species he belongs to?“

“Will you take no for an answer?“

“Probably not“, Lapis snort-giggled, and the entire hassle was almost worth it just for that cute sound. 

“Idon’twanttoknow Pleaseletmesleepis?“ Peridot deadpanned.

“Creative, but no“, Lapis retorted. “His species is called Giant House Spider. I know, it’s a bit of an anticlimax.“

“Giant House Spider? Lame. I would have gone for something a bit more indicative, like Eight-Legged Godzilla Murderbeast. I’d be a great zoologist, if I knew anything about being a zoologist.“

“Okay, Dot, I think the sleep deprivation is getting to you. Like, you look horrible“, Lapis said, giving a firm poke to the sizable bag under one of her eyes. 

“Almost like somebody dragged me out of bed at 3am just to embarrass me?“

“Point taken, hint taken as well, I’m going to leave you in peace.“

 “Thank you“, Peridot drawled, enunciating so carefully she almost spelled it out, in order to fit all the sarcasm she could muster into the two syllables.

Lapis turned to leave, but changed her mind one last time. “But seriously, you look really pale. Are you sick or something?“

Peridot had had the full intention of saving whatever modicum of dignity she had still left, and brush Lapis of with a non-committal ’I’m fine’, or something along the lines. What she blurted out instead was: “Did your spider build a nest in my drain?“

She clapped her hands over her mouth as soon as she realized what she had said. She had never wanted to spontaneously combust this much. To her surprise, Lapis expression grew softer. “Nah, not likely. They’re loners and prefer to build their nests outside, where there’s more food.“

“But what if one crawls into my mouth while I’m asleep!“

Damn her mouth for acting of its own accord. If it kept doing this, Peridot would just have to put a muzzle on herself.

“Aw, Dot, is this why you look as if you hadn’t seen a bed in years? Where you afraid to fall asleep.“ A small, warm hand found its way onto Peridot’s shoulder in a comforting gesture, and the smaller girl felt the blood rush to her face. Suddenly, it seemed unbearable to look Lapis in the eye.

“I don’t recall giving you permission to call me anything other than my name“, Peridot told the floor. Lapis wasn’t having any of her halfhearted attempts at distraction. 

“Not what I asked, Dot.“                                   

“It’s just…I read that the average person inhales four spiders per year while they’re asleep, and now that I know that my house is infested with these things…imagine I would choke on one, and the last thing I would ever feel was a Giant House Spider crawling around in my windpipe?“

Peridot wasn’t able to stop her voice from escalating into a panicked squeak.

“You pronounced Eight-Legged Godzilla Murderbeast wrong.“, Lapis said, calm as ever, and actually managed to coax a hoarse giggle out of Peridot.

“And don’t worry, the spider inhaling thing is complete hogwash. One of those Internet urban legends, you know?“

“Okay.“

Peridot forced herself to draw deep, calming breaths, and ignored the nagging voice in the back of her head chanting “What if she’s wrong? What if she’s wrong?“.

“So you’re going to be alright now?“

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good“, Peridot murmured, and was amazed that it wasn’t even a lie.

“Good, because I could really use some sleep and I don’t have the patience to hold your hand until you’ve fallen asleep. I’ll tell Pierre you said hi“. And with that, she turned around and vanished.

“I said no such thing!“, Peridot called after her, but she had no idea if Lapis had even heard it. Lapis, the girl with the dark blue hair like the darkest night. Lapis, with her stormy grey eyes that contrasted so enticingly with her dark skin. Lapis, who had actually managed to calm her down and reduce her albeit irrational fear of spiders crawling into her throat at night. Lapis, who used the word hogwash unironically.

There was no denying it: Peridot had managed to develop an unreasonably heavy crush in record time.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading, if you have time, a comment is always appreciated, and have a great day, I'll see you in the next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been illustrated (I know, I couldn't believe it either) by the amazingly talented taylachan on tumblr! Go check her out and send her lots of love!
> 
> And now, enjoy another chapter of Arachnophobia, or as I like to call it 'Gay Nerds Knock Each Others Doors Down'. I seriously didn't expect so much doorknocking to be involved in this.

In all those years of being gay, single and too ridden with anxiety to do anything about the latter, Peridot had developed one foolproof strategy for handling her crushes: She didn't. So far, hiding in her room and avoiding the girl in question had always seemed like the safest bet to not make a fool of herself by suddenly blurting out compliments at inopportune times or - even worse - accidentally confessing her feelings. Even if that sometimes meant taking the school's fire exit as an escape strategy because it meant not having to walk home next to her crush. Peridot did not miss these high school days at all. But now, as a professional adult, there was nothing stopping her from turning off the doorbell and living off of cheap delivery food. (This combination of evasive actions had led to many a disgruntled delivery person claiming to have been standing outside in the cold for hours.) Peridot was prepared to live in her makeshift bunker for months if that meant minimizing the chance of running into 'she-who-must-not-be-named' in the hallways. Leaving for uni was always a risk, of course, but she made sure to get up inhumanly early because now she knew how much the art student next door valued her sleep. She had been prepared for every single obstacle life had decided to throw in her way - except for Lapis Lazuli herself making the first move.

Of course, with Lapis being Lapis, Peridot didn't know that her neighbor had been making a move at all until it was too late. It had been three days since the 3am shorts-disaster, and Peridot was currently fighting for her life in the most intense Overwatch match she had ever seen in her life, mostly because she was the only member of her team who was getting anything done as nobody else seemed to know the meaning of the word 'healer' or have the faintest whiff of an idea that the payload was a thing that existed. So naturally, it took her a while to notice that that annoying pounding she heard was not the sound of her own heart beating against her ribcage in a murderous rage, but instead somebody seconds away from knocking the door down. She assumed her pizza had arrived, and was glad for an excuse to leave that pitiful excuse of a team behind.  
She found her wallet in the mess of empty food containers and cans on her desk, made her way over to the door, opened it a few inches wide, caught a glimpse of dark blue hair and slammed it shut again with all the strength she could muster.

"Peridot, you nerd, it's me, Lapis! Open the door!"

Peridot would have answered with a resounding 'No!', if her brain hadn't been occupied collapsing in on itself and flashing warnings of "Mayday! Mayday!".

"You know that playing dead won't help you, right?", came Lapis' muffled voice from the other side of the door.

Peridot didn't see any harm in trying. She had been living holed up in her room avoiding any and all human contact, and to be honest, she looked the part. With a quick glance, Peridot counted at least three stains of tomato sauce on her shirt. What was it with Lapis Lazuli and always seeing Peridot at her absolute worst?

"Peridot, I need your help, and you owe me one, so if you don't open up right now, I will kick this door down!"  
Peridot had been ready to call her bluff, but when a resounding impact shook not only the door, but the entire wall, she jumped into action.

"Lapis, what the hell is wrong with you?! You can't just destroy my apartment like that!", she shouted.

"So you are alive after all!"

"Leave me alone!" Peridot screamed.

Then, there was silence.

'Good job, Peridot. That's exactly how you get a girlfriend: Just scream at the girl you like and alienate her with your weirdness.', she thought to herself, and frowned at her own reflection in the hall mirror. 'At least I didn't have to look her in the eyes.' Peridot was just getting ready to spend some quality time wallowing in self pity, when she heard Lapis' voice again, quieter this time, Peridot had to strain her ears to even understand her neighbor with the barrier between them.

"Are you alright, Dot?"

And those four words cut deeper than any insult Lapis might have thrown at her. Because what could Peridot say? 'No, I'm currently throwing an immature tantrum because I can't deal with my feelings in a remotely reasonable way?' Lapis' tone was quiet and considerate, and Peridot knew that the girl would leave her alone and never bother her again if Peridot asked her to, and while it would certainly make her life easier, it definitely wouldn't make it better. In fact, Peridot's insides seemed to freeze over at the thought of sending Lapis away forever. So she decided on the one answer she could give:

"I'm fine, I'm just...I'm a mess, Lapis."

"I noticed."

Peridot could hear the smile in her words, a thought at which her heart made a happy little somersault in her chest. Oh, she couldn't do this, she was in too deep.

As no answer came, Lapis continued. "I just need your help with something, promise. I might have impulse-bought a terrarium and I need help carrying it up the stairs."

"U-huh", Peridot said, preoccupied with wrestling her cowardly self into submission and psyching herself up for opening the door and actually talking to Lapis, face to face and all. Then the reality of what Lapis just said caught up with her.

"You what?!"

"I thought Pierre deserved a nicer place to live than the kitchen sink, so I went to the store and bought the coolest looking terrarium I could find. It has a skull in it and everything...I think it's meant for snakes though.

Will you help me, pretty please? I can pay you in food."

Was that an invitation for dinner? Oh no, Peridot couldn't do this, she couldn't, she couldn't, she...

"I can't say no to free food."

What had she done? 

Accepting Lapis' offer meant actually having to interact with her, face to face, trying not to act like a bumbling goon. But she couldn't go back on her word now. She took another steeling breath, and stepped out of the door again. Nothing in this world could have prepared her for the sight of Lapis in casual clothes. She was clad in sweatpants and a simple blue tanktop, that showed off an unreasonable amount of bare skin on her arms. Peridot tried and failed not to stare.

'Don't make it weird, say something, you useless clod!' , Peridot screamed internally. 

'Muscles', her brain supplied, helpfully, 'nice'.

"You do sports?", Peridot blurted out. 

"Yeah, I swim", Lapis answered, and added with a wink: "If you like my arms that much, you should see my legs."

Peridot tried valiantly to retain some of her dignity and not violently blush at this thought, she really did, but alas, her efforts were in vain. She was so caught up in trying to come up with a witty, cool answer to Lapis' teasing that she only noticed that they had started heading towards the stairs when her foot suddenly hit nothing and almost caused her to tumble down the stairs with a yelp.

"Watch the step", Lapis giggled and pulled her back at the shoulder. Peridot seriously considered skipping town and moving to another state.

"Now, behold Pierre's new luxury apartment!", Lapis said as she lead Peridot to her car, a tiny, rusty vehicle with more than a few dents here and there. At Peridot's slightly alarmed look, she just shrugged and said "Three point turn is a bitch." She opened the trunk (it made a screeching sound that  made the hair on Peridot's neck stand up) and proudly presented the terrarium.

"It's...big", Peridot stated. And big it was, containing a jungle of fake tree branches and plastic leaves, a water bowl made of red sandstone, and, in the middle of it all, a big, white, human skull with several gold teeth. It sure was an eye-catcher, but all this for a common house spider? She turned to Lapis.

"Is that all of that really necessary for your spider?", she asked skeptically.

"It isn't really an impulse purchase if you don't waste at least 100 dollars, go big or go home!"

Peridot had never quite understood this saying, from her point of view, going home was the preferable outcome in almost every imaginable scenario. 

"Well, I hope Pierre's at least grateful for your sacrifice."

"I doubt it", Lapis said. "I doubt he has any idea what's going on at any given moment."

After a bit of awkward pushing and shoving and Peridot's fingers getting squished under the terrarium, they managed to heave the thing out of the trunk, through the door and into the corridor, with Peridot going first and clumsily shuffling backwards, and Lapis shouting instructions.

"So...", Peridot started, anxious to make normal, human conversation. "How did you get Pierre to stay in your kitchen sink?"

"Oh, that was easy. You see, he can't get out, and that's probably how he got trapped in your bathtub in the first place. He went in for a sip of water, and when he noticed he couldn't climb up again, he - turn left, left! The other left! - okay, when he noticed he couldn't climb up, it was too late. Watch the stairs."

So they didn't live in the drain! That was good news, at least.

"And how have you been doing your dishes?", Peridot asked, slowly making her way up the stairs.

"I've been doing them in the bathtub."

Peridot almost dropped her burden. "What? Ew!"

"You don't get to judge my lifestyle, Miss 'Mountain-Dew-Is-A-Staple-Food'! Left again."

It took them another five minutes and several close calls where Peridot had failed to notice the end of a flight of stairs and as a result almost landed on her backside and dropped the damn thing, but eventually they managed to carry it into Lapis' apartment and drop it off on her kitchen table ("you want that...thing...around while you eat?" Peridot had squawked, incredulously). Peridot flopped down on a chair, flushed, sweaty and out of breath, while Lapis turned over to the sink to...oh no.

"Wakey wakey", she cooed, and reached into the depth of the sink. "I finally got you your new home, Pierre!"

There was a sudden jerk of her hands, and then she emerged, perched on top of her palm none other than the infamous Eight-Legged Godzilla Murderbeast. It was like a particularly brutal car crash, Peridot didn't want to see any of it, but couldn't bring herself to look away.

"Aren't you afraid it's going to bite you?" she whispered.

"Nah, he wouldn't even be able to breach the skin, and even if he could, a bee sting would be far more painful", Lapis said, carefully stepping over to the terrarium.

"Here you go, little buddy. Enjoy", she crooned as she lowered her hands into the enclosure. Pierre immediately dashed into hiding.

"So!" Lapis said. "To the victor, the spoils. I promised to pay you, so I think it's time to get you some real food for once, Dot. What do you want?"

Peridot was about to say that she really didn't mind and didn't appreciate Lapis' constant hazing because of her eating habits, when she remembered that she had already ordered dinner.

"Pizza guy!", she blurted out, then buried her face in her hands. She needed to have a serious talk with her brain about its thought-to-speech filter.

Lapis raised her eyebrows. "You want to eat a pizza guy? Don't you think that's a bit hypocritical when you accused Pierre" - she patted the terrarium affectionately - "of cannibalism."

"No, no, I forgot - before you knocked on my door, I ordered a pizza, and it should arrive any minute now...I'm sorry", she muttered sheepishly.

"It's okay, Dot", Lapis said, but Peridot couldn't help but notice that she seemed to deflate a little with disappointment. "Maybe another time, then."

A small flicker of hope came to life in Peridot's heart, not quite a flame yet, but the spark was there. Maybe, just maybe, Lapis liked her back. And Peridot knew she had a decision to make. Should she stay on the safe side and wait this one out as she did with every other crush she had had, or should she finally make a move of her own. This was it, she thought, this was the quick time event that would decide the outcome of the game. 

"Wait! Uhm...I'm not that hungry, so I thought...maybe you could come over and we could share?"

Silence. Peridot studied her neighbors face carefully, waiting for any kind of reaction with baited breath, but she would not take anything back. Not this time. Even though her heart threatened to break her ribs considering how forceful it was pounding, she didn't avert her eyes. Then, slowly, Lapis' lips turned into a smile, no, a grin, and she said:

"I think I'd like that. A lot."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Now I know there's a lot of shipping war going on between lapidot and amedot, and let me just say, I ship both equally. Actually, I also ship all of them. And my computer wants to autocorrect lapidot into lapdog.  
> Anyway, English isn't my native language, so if anything sounds off, please tell me! I'm studying to be an interpreter, so any tips for improvement are always welcome.  
> If you have the time, please consider leaving a comment, and in any case, thank you for reading, I hope to see you in the next chapter, and I hope you have a great day.


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